by Terry L. Sumerlin
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Most aspiring speakers begin by speaking pro bono to various groups. It provides necessary speaking experience, and can also be an experience.
I recall one such engagement many years ago. The presentation was for a ladies’ group, meeting in the nearby town of New Braunfels.
Unfortunately, while cruising up I-35 that day, I had a blowout. It was not what I had in mind for the afternoon’s activities. While drivers whizzed by, I stood by my car, considering the options: change the tire, possibly ruin a good suit and still be late for the meeting; or who knew what. As I was pondering the situation, a young couple with a little baby pulled up in a pickup. “Anything we can do to help?” he asked. Though I had always thought you can’t look sharp riding in the back of a pickup, I would gladly have ridden there just to get to the event. But, I didn’t have to. I slid in beside the young lady and her baby, and was taken right to the front door of the meeting room. It was an incredible act of kindness.
As I walked in (late), the meeting planner immediately began to introduce me as the speaker. As subtly as possible, I told her what had happened and that I had to call my wife so that she could take care of my car before the police towed it. She hardly missed a beat with her intro, while I was scurrying around looking for a phone. As I reentered the room, having completed my call, she said, “Here is Terry Sumerlin, and he will be speaking on ‘A To Do List for Winners.’” It was then, that I heard something from some sweet soul that sounded very much like, “What could he possibly know about being a winner?”
Do you know what a conniption is? That’s just about what I had right there! I nearly lost it. Then I realized that unless I thought of something quick, it was about to be the longest 30 minutes that I had ever spent before an audience.
“You,” I told the ladies, “are sharing with me in a first time experience. In all the time I’ve been doing presentations of various kinds this is the first time I’ve ever been late for a speech.” Then I told them what had happened, and that I had hitchhiked to get there. Before I said another word, they gave me a standing ovation.
“You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.”
Now why have I told this? Is it to say that I always say the right thing, that I always respond appropriately, that I never react harshly? I wish that were the case. It is to say that on those occasions (which are all too often) when I’m inclined to react rather than respond, I’m reminded of New Braunfels, Texas.
Generally, responding is positive while reacting is negative. Exceptions to this might be in cases of immediate danger. But, even here there can be negative carry-overs. Mark Twain said that the cat that sits on a hot stove lid will never sit on a hot stove lid again. He added that it will never sit on a cold stove lid, either. Reacting often tends to distort the real lesson in an experience.
Where others are involved, reacting also tends to destroy credibility. D.A Benton, in her wonderful book “How to Think Like a CEO,” says that when you lose it you lose – every time. Responding, on the other hand, gives one the satisfaction of knowing he/she handled the problem in a mature way. Some would do well to remember, “You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.” (Larry Anderson, retired major league relief pitcher)
Reacting also tends to reduce management to the knee jerk variety. A thoughtful response, on the other hand, involves thoughtful evaluations of people and suitable solutions toward the good of all.
BARBER-OSOPHY: When we habitually respond rather than react, we usually have fewer regrets.
